hey punkin!

and think aloud i will . . . thanks to amanda over at running with spoons :)

1. this girl is still feeling out of sorts. i am 100% aware that i have been an irritable little monster lately . . . and yet i cannot help it. grouchy is simply my dominant mood. it isn't so much that i am unhappy, but that i am crotchety. a crotchety old hag. get off my lawn!!

(source)

2. this has been by far my favorite summer. while the thermometer is still hovering around 100°F, we haven't suffered through weeks and weeks of the sweltering teens. we have had more rainy, true monsoon season days than most summers. 

(source)
funny how it's been stormy all week,
but of course when i screen shot the 7-day
it's nothing but sunny skies for days.
mother nature's humor is wack.

2.5. stormy days have always held a deep complexity for me. i absolutely, hands down L.O.V.E rainy days. the cloudier and gloomier, the better. they make me want to curl up tight in my afghan with a steaming mug and a good read, right next to the window. my, how my knees go weak over the smell of petrichor. on the flip side, rainy weather brings me down. mood wise that is. always has . . . poo.

3. the "cool" summer weather has be dreaming about fall already. my favorite season of them all. turning leaves. pumpkin everything. the beginning of the holiday season (in my mind at least). chunky sweaters. boots. jeans. layers. scarves. and the return of my shows!!

(source)
ha! pretty accurate during the fall show season

sigh . . . please come soon fall!

4. speaking of everything pumpkin . . . yes. #gimmealldempumpkins #heypunkin! #getinmabelly

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i am certain THAT day will NEVER come!

5. guess who sat down with a lawyer to initiate the name change process? that'd be this girl right here! in just a couple of months (due to lengthy legal blah, blah procedures), my first name will be spelled correctly across all legal platforms, and i will officially be a konwent. <---- his last name :)

eeks! seems so far away right now, but i know it will fly by in no time!

*** 

what's summer like in your neck of the woods?

what's your favorite season?

peace. love. :)

yay

thinking out loud: flashback

this isn't a true flashback. today we are going back in time to . . . yesterday! i began my crazy purge of thoughts, but didn't have a chance to finish. so for your reading enjoyment, i give you thinking out loud: flashback style.

***

1. i have been up with the roosters (if i had one, i imagine we'd be waking at the same time) all week, in an attempt to acclimate to my new schedule. it is nothing major. beginning on monday, i will be starting work one hour earlier, at 6:00 am instead of 7:00 am. that requires getting up at 4:30 am instead of 5:30 am. i used this week to ease into the change by setting my morning alarm back by half an hour. in truth, it hasn't flipped my world upside down. i am naturally an early riser. also, the change was self imposed. no reason for my body to try and fight it. the only aspect that is really giving me grief is adjusting my bed time. it has been so tough not reaching for my book to try and fit in a quick read. truth be told, i put off turning in early twice this week to satisfy my reader's thirst. so that is still a work in progress.

good meowning!

2. i received these two beauties in the mail on wednesday! chelsea from A Fit Little One has an Etsy shop, called Raw Mermaid, where she makes and sells lovely beaded bracelets. her jewelry is well made, and i adore the classic simplicity and go-with-anything style of her line. as you can see, these two lovelies quickly became my new favorite arm candy!

shop RawMermaid here.

3. packing and preparing the house for our move has taken up residence in my mind for the past couple of weeks. i have very mixed feelings about this move, which is strange coming from the girl who practically grew up a gypsy, and carried on the tradition of not staying in one place for too long into her adult life. this time around, i had really hoped to stay in one place for the next year and a half, while we save up for a down to buy our own home. i guess staying just isn't in the cards this time. c'est la vie and hakuna matata!

(source)

4. this weekend is forcing me to break out of the little hermit shell i've been in for the past couple of weeks. i suspect the oddly cool summer (and by cool i mean temps in the 90's and low 100's) and lingering monsoon rains have left me teetering on the gloomy side. for the past few weeks, i have intentionally and unintentionally been avoiding social engagements. not because i am angry with anyone. simply put, i have just wanted to be alone. while i know that me time is essential to my overall happiness, i have a history of letting my mental clouds drag me down. secluding myself is always how it begins. luckily for me (and unluckily for my noggin's cumulonimbus companions), our good friends  (the dude and i) are having an engagement party this saturday. i forget how, but i was roped into being on the planning committee a month ago, and with that comes the responsibility of being there for them. i am embarrassed to admit that part of me is not looking forward to it. i feel like a real jerk thinking it. the sunny side of myself however, is ready to be a good friend.

5. every time i think of next wednesday, i get a little nervous. august 20th begins my name change process! not only am i giving up my maiden name and taking the dude's last name, i am also correcting the spelling of my first name. have i ever mentioned that i have lived 28 years with a misspelled first name? i am sure many would say that it doesn't matter (what’s in a name? that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet), but in my case it does. the names on my birth certificate and SS card are spelled slightly differently, so i have never been able to get a passport. and this girl wants to spread her wings! okay, that may be a bit dramatic, but i would like the option to jet set to exotic locations on a whim. plus, i imagine it will be heaven to have my first name spelled the same across all legal document platforms. i can't wait! and yet, i am so nervous! i know that i won't be losing my identity, but giving up my last name and changing up the way i have spelled my first name my entire life is no minor deal to me.

6. my pain levels have been high all week, which means taking it easy. my body held up through a few very fluid vinyasa flow yoga practices, but cardio hasn't been an option. the pain coupled with fatigue has me feeling like a bit of a zombie. on top of that, my stomach in full rebellion. even safe foods have been upsetting my sensitive tum. rest. relax. recover. that is where i am shifting my focus.

***

how was your week?
what has your mental weather been like lately?

peace. love. :)
yay

jibber jabber. this and that.

happy happy thursday from all of me to you!

keeping things short and sweet today. just like me! i keeed. i keeed.

hookin' up with amanda's fabulous thinking out loud link up for a third time.

1. today begins the official 30 day countdown to this girl gettin' hitched. eeeeek!! picking up the dudes ring this weekend and confirming the "cake" order. next thursdays is my second dress fitting! fingers crossed the seamstress is successful in cutting all 7 feet of extra length off to fit my oh, so short self.

hahahaha oh grumpy cat. you get me every time!

source

2. i am 100% fine with the fact that this week is over. well, work wise for me at least. boy was it a rough one . . . i was in pain and sick with stomach troubles for most of the week. on top of that, the weather has been so weird and inconsistent. one day it's 88 and sunny, and the next it's 71 and overcast. the shift between winter and summer sunlight is really getting to me. felt the ol' blanket of darkness begin to creep its way over me. don't know why it took me so long to notice the progression of being tired, exhausted, drained, sick, and in pain lately. you would think i'd be able to recognize the symptoms by now . . . sheesh . . .  

3. but why focus on the negative. what do we do when life forgets how to play nicely? run like hell . . . sound like an odd answer? well, i was at the gym, so it's quite fitting ;)

this very choosy tum tum of mine was at about 75% in the wellness department today. pretty significant improvement from the past several days. so, i finally got the gym day i have been craving. 47 minutes running hills on the treadmill. i was in complete heaven. and hell. it has been a while since i've hopped on a treadmill. even longer since i've done hills. my lower calves are going to love me tomorrow! not.

i legitimately almost made myself throw up. i had about 10 minutes left before cool down, my heart was racing away, and sweat was pouring from just about every pore. then it came. this sudden, extremely strong urge to toss my cookies (or should i say chips, since that's actually the last thing i'd eaten). this little voice inside said, "keep it together girl. you got this." and i did. i told myself, "5 more minutes," and then after five minutes i said, "you can't quite now, you only have to make it another 5 minutes before cool down." and i continued to follow my inner coaching voice through the remainder of my run, and then through cool down. proud. the only word i could describe the feeling of watching the clock run down to 0:00 remaining time.

now i am not saying go out and puke your guts out in the name of seeing a workout through. if you can push your self through safely, then by all means. you go glen coco!! and if not, that's cool too. you good girl! or boy. to each his or her own workout tactics.

source

4. i tan waaaaaaaaaaaaayy too easily. it is not a complaint so much as an observation. i sat out on the cafe patio at work for about an hour this morning. which was more than enough time for the bitty skin cells of my right arm to put up their defense against the sun and adopt a darker brown hue. first world problem. i know. smh at myself. i am just not at all a fan of tan lines, which i now have more of . . .

source

5. last week was my brother's sweet 16th. mother's day is on sunday. tuesday is my little sister's 21st birthday. holy crap does that make me feel old. calls. i must make all the phone calls this weekend.

***

do you have any special mother's day plans in the works? and for those moms out there: are you anticipating the day? 

peace. love. :)
yay

hello may and helloooo dr. burke

happy may 1st!

move over april showers (although we didn't see a single one), and make way for may flowers! i don't really know where that came from, but i'll go with it. ;)

this is my second week linking up with amanda! i enjoyed it so much last week, that i had to return for seconds.

1. them goals - end of month check in

at the beginning of april, i set three specific goals. how did i do? well . . .

books: i certainly did stand behind my word to make more time for reading. there was rarely a day where i did not pick something up to read, whether it be a news or fitness-related article, or book. i did a lot of fitness-releated reading, but finished st. lucy's home for girls raised by wolves, a series of short stories written by karen russell. i am planning to write a short review and share my thoughts on this, so we will leave it at that for now. 

booze: if you have read my half month check-in post, you know that was a big one for me, and a huge focus throughout april. reduce social drinking. stop the "yes" habit in social situations by practicing mindfulness. i am scoring myself with a 93%. admittedly, i had exactly 1.5 drinks in 30 days. both times i was fully aware and chose to have a drink out of want, and not because i was offered one. the 1/2 a drink is due to the fact that i wanted to try this import beer, but lost the desire half way in. so i stopped. as i should have. the pre-april me would have finished it out of guilt at wasting it. not this me though. i feel much stronger in my decisiveness. and although it wasn't a perfect no alcohol month, i am still proud of myself.

sweats: i am once again fully incorporating cardio into my weekly routines. my pain levels have been low all month! all except for the week i had to take off because i was sick, i have enjoyed a month of glorious sweats. cheers to more! and cheers to hopefully continuing this near pain-free streak!

2. stream of conscious writing

i sat in on a stream of conscious writing workshop tuesday afternoon. can't say i cared for the class all that much. the session was blocked out for a full hour. time to get my write on! or so i thought. the presenter essentially talked for the first 40 minutes about her thoughts and feeling about this form of writing. we were then given 10 minutes to write whatever came to mind, uninhibited by spelling, grammar, etc . . . the last 10 minutes were spent sharing our piece. hmmm . . . 1. i came in with expectations on how this could improve my skills as a writer. little did i know, it was structured towards non-writers, and angled as a means of stress release. not that the intention was bad, just not what i had hoped for. 2. i find stream of conscious writing to be highly personal, and did not appreciate being broken up into groups of three, where there was no real way of getting out of reading my piece aloud . . .  

3. noshes

i am really satisfied with my menu this week. it is amazing how good it feels to eat healthy, wholesome, good eats. prepped meals equals a happy tummy and even happier wallet. no having to spend unnecessary money on lunch (although i will say the make-your-own gourmet salad bar at work is not too shabby). here's what i have been noshing on this week.

breakfast: overnight oats. surprised? haha. i mixed this up a bit, and instead of going with my usual vanilla pb oats, went with pina colada oats! in leu of rum extract, i was a bit heavy handed with the vanilla extract, which did lend it that rich dark note.

1/2 cup old fashion oats
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
2 tsp fiber supplement
1/4 cup frozen pineapple
1 tbs coconut shavings
1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk
2 tsp pure vanilla extract

mix all ingredients well and pop it in the fridge overnight. enjoy right out of the fridge or warmed up, in the morning.

lunch: healthy stir "fry." this flavorful dish includes a delightful assortment of: cremini mushrooms, green beans, baby bok choy, and red bell pepper. i chose brown jasmine rice over white, and shrimp as my protein. added 3 tbs of GF low sodium soy sauce, 1 tbs sesame oil, garlic powder and pepper to taste. and topped with a bit of sriracha.

snack: chocolate oatmeal protein bites topped with better'n peanut butter. still need to make a few tweaks. made these on a whim, sans recipe. good consistency and texture. needs a bit more richness in taste before i am satisfied. will need to play around with this for a bit.

dinner: chili flavored, pan seared tilapia with a side of sweet & savory sweet potatoes. i could not get the tilapia to cooperate the first two days i made this. made a few adjustments to the pan prep and heat setting. perfectly cooked tilapia these past two days.

4. #burkeisback

oh. my. gosh!! am i the ONLY one who didn't read (or know about for that matter) all the spoilers that were apparently littered across all social feeds??? i had absolutely no clue burke was making an appearance tonight (or ever). none. holy ish. i am pretty sure my heart stopped when burke uttered his first words . . . to be honest, i wasn't really paying all that much attention during the beginning of tonight's episode. this season has been so up and down, and up and down some more. with cristina's eminent departure, i have been waiting oh, so impatiently for the big, dramatic plot twist. i expected it to come into play a lot sooner (which in hindsight, everything that has happened this season has culminated towards that exact thing!), and have been really impatient and flat out bored with the lack of action/drama/emotion during the last few episodes. i think my subconscious finally decided that i should not get my hopes up, so i was haphazardly watching tonight when burke happened. #colormesurprised

source & EW's article on grey's here.

and seeing as i have stayed up waaaaayyy beyond my typical bedtime, a bad habit that has reared its head all week, i am going to wish you a good night.

peace. love. :)
yay

you can go your own way

source

random.

one word i am very much in tune with today.

without aim. yes. direction. yup. rule. definitely.

fandom and tandem?!?! am i the only one dying of laughter over here?!

thank goodness for amanda, over at running with spoons, and her thinking out loud linkup. i may just make it through a post today! haha ;)

1. i am obsessed . . . 

with this song lately always have been currently. if i had a personal theme song, this would be it. or it would at least be one of the many songs in my theme-song rotation. because let's face it, if i had a theme song, it would most certainly 100% for sure change depending on my mood.

2. today . . . 

i had the honor of sitting in on a presentation with the world renown, the one and only andre leon talley! now i am no fashion maven by any stretch of the imagination, but when a legend such as andre leon talley (i feel nothing less than dirty if i do not use his full name) graces the city you live in, and better yet, your place of work, you do not simply decline the invitation to listen to him wax eloquence.

i have to say . . . the man is funny! he is such a personality! and i was blown away when he stated (i am paraphrasing of course) that fashion cannot be wrong. fashion can be found in what you, me, she, he, everyone, anyone chooses to dress him or herself in, each and every day. i couldn't help feeling lovely at the moment.

i was dressed in my own carefree, boho-inspired style. flowing purple top with contrasting blue bandeau. distressed boyfriend jeans. braided hippie-meets-gladiator-inspired sandal. long, antiqued harmonica necklace. mala and friendship-style bracelets . . . conversely, nearly every one around me was a fashion goddess or prince, so all were, naturally, dressed to the nines for the occasion. now i am not easily intimidated by trendy folk when it comes to my personal style because it is just that, my personal style. but i did feel mildly out of place, surrounded by people who live and breathe the fashion industry. that comment though . . . swoon . . . i am now a true andre leon talley fan and believer.

3. wedding.

the one word that has been repeatedly on my mind oh, so, so, so, sooooo much lately. today we are officially 44 days out!! eeek!! it still feels like there is SO much to do. my mind is doing flips just trying to grasp the concept that i will be a married woman (read: the epitome of an adult) in just over a month!!

4. speaking of weddings . . .

our diy wedding projects are coming along splendidly, if not a little slowly. the dude is in charge of the planter boxes. he built 7 wooden planter boxes, that will be filled with various beautiful succulents, to serve as our centerpieces. i am in charge of the centerpiece accent pieces. i am upcycling empty wine bottles by turning them into unique, eclectic vases. each bottle is stripped of its label, painted, and then decorated with twine, glitter, burlap, and/or bows. no two bottles being the same. :)

i have a few pics, but am planning on putting together a dedicated blog post soon. ;)


5. i am mildy disappointed . . . 

in myself. the reason is epicly idiotic. i realize this. my intent was not to catch a cold. cognitively speaking, i am fully aware that regardless of how hard i try to keep this little body of mine well, germs still exist. and they do what germs do best. they infect. tis a simple fact of life. and yet, i am irked that once again, i have been rendered a snotty, voiceless mess.

i am just sick and tired of this seemingly endless cycle of being sick, feeling well, being in pain, feeling well, rinse, and repeat. ughhhh . . . 

and . . . times up. all whining must cease.


6. i have major music ADD right now.

recently played songs on my pandora:

goo goo dolls - iris

hootie and the blowfish - mr. jones

third eye blind - semi-charmed life

the beatles - hey jude 

fleetwood mac - landslide 

reo speedwagon - keep on loving you

eagles - take it easy

a few lyrics that really resonate with me at the moment . . .

"...she checks out mozart while she does tae-bo/ reminds me that there's room to grow..."

"...i've gotta know if your sweet love is gonna save me..."

"...and i don't want the world to see me/ 'cause i don't think that they'd understand..."

okay, piggybacking one random thought off of another. every time i hear goo goo dolls iris, i immediately flash back to city of angels. i mean, it was sort of the iconic theme song for this sad, sad romance. 

this scene in particular comes to mind. sigh. so beautiful . . . 

source

7. spoiler alert . . . 

if you have never seen city of angels (how can you live with yourself?! j/k), and plan on watching it someday, just go on and skip this one. ;)

ironically enough, when i google searched the above image, it linked to a post on the hounds of zeitgeist blog . . . in a post entitled 7 movie characters that totally deserved to die. yup, this breathtaking image of meg ryan taking in the beauty of the moment was used to validate specifically why she deserved the tragic, tragic events that unfold just seconds from now, in movie time. tear!


ahhhhhh . . . i must say, that was the best mental cleanse i have had in a while. anyone else channeling my harry potter pensieve moment? no? is it just me?



do you ever get the chafing need to evacuate your mind of any and all thoughts?

well, until next time (tomorrow) . . . 

peace. love. :)
yay