Ch-ch-ch-changes

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I am not sure how many times a girl can go through the cycle of setting her mind on something, just to let it fall through her hands like sand. What I do know, is that each day is a new day. Every sunrise is one more opportunity to make the change(s) you want to see, happen.

Last year held a lot of challenges for me. Most proved to be for the good, although I may not have recognized them as such, or welcomed them at first. Change is inevitable. And it is going to happen whether or not I am on board.

Change is one of the few guarantees in life.

Recently, my eyes have opened up to the realization that I spent much of life trying to convince myself that I am not afraid of change. Why? To appear tough? To appear in control? To appear different, somehow immune to the stress of change? Probably a little of all three. The reality is, sometimes I pray with all my might for change. Sometimes I even try to force change. Other times I am shaking-in-my-sneaks terrified that the good things in life will change. All three are completely okay reactions. All three are entirely human reactions.

There comes a moment after such a realization in which you must either choose to change or bury your head in the sand. I do not want to turn a blind eye, which is why I made a promise to myself. A promise to focus (really focus) on self growth this year. I vowed not to allow past failures cloud my vision. Or to let the fear of change and presumed failure hinder my progress.

"...I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work..." ~ Thomas Edison

Change is hard. Self-inflicted change is even more challenging. I have accepted that challenge. New day. One more opportunity to make the change.