let's get serious - an up-close-and-personal account (part two)

if you missed part one, no worries. you can find it here. :)

let's talk about life.

a sizable part of current life is . . . (drum roll) wedding planning! to be honest, things have gone very smoothly so far. at times i have even been so bold as to think, "this is it? this is what women spend hours, days, weeks, months, years obsessing about?!" not to downplay the big day, as it is soon to be my most monumental life event thus far. needless to say, i don't want anything bad to happen, but expecting perfection is off the table. if the caterer is delayed, or the centerpieces aren't just so, or if crazy grandpa joe doesn't show up in the most wedding-appropriate attire, etc . . . guess what? life will still go on. perhaps this girl didn't inherit the "wedding gene," like most girls. it's not for a lack of caring for the fine details, but rather a preferential focus on the big picture. my guy. me. our love for one another. two families becoming one. what could be more important?

truthfully, this has been a fun, eye-opening experience. who knew so many things had to come together for one day. thankfully, we have a fabulous wedding coordinating team that we absolutely adore! and jared's mom has been more than helpful along the way. the burr that keeps jabbing at once deeply buried, tender spots has been the emphasis wedding planning puts on all the mother-daughter traditions that a girl without a typical mother figure is forced to miss out on. don't mistake this for a boo-hoo, poor me moment please. it is genuinely tough feeling out of place, being left to do all of the normal mother-daughter wedding stuff solo. and admittedly, it can be sort of embarrassing too. maybe if i weren't so dreadfully honest things would be different, but that all too familiar burning reaches my cheeks with each confession to having done x, y, and z alone. inquiring minds always seem to gravitate towards those oh, so awkward questions . . . sigh.

one not so happy experience (that culminated in a series of events, ongoing for the past 7 years) was the secession of my once most treasured friendship. sometimes life presents events that bring people closer together. on the flip side, sometimes the exact opposite happens as a result of that same event. sadly, this girl has been fighting a losing battle that climaxed and fizzled out last month. a struggle to hold fast to something and someone so important. a tug-of-war in which i was the only participant, because it turns out the other end of the rope was abandoned along the way. it's sad. call it naive even, but this memory will certainly leave a lingering bitterness . . .    

on a lighter note, the day-to-day has been mostly work. we've hit our spring peak, so it has been a non-stop, crazy, insanely nuts hustle!! i am usually a 4-10er, monday through thursday. the past few weeks have lead to more of a 5-10er lifestyle. consequently leading to constant crazy, stupid exhaustion. the payout though? mad overtime! more money in the bank. definitely not a bad thing considering we have a wedding to pay for, which won't pay for itself haha.

also work related . . . i received a promotion! this girl is a lead copywriter! officially, it happened the last week of january. just another thing waiting to be shared. :)

and that about wraps up life today. my "big picture" goal is to keep trekking towards the light, towards mental, emotional, and physical happiness.

peace. love.
yay