let's not take each other for granted

i'm not sure what sort of post this will turn out to be... happy. sad. confusing. i just don't know, so i apologize in advance if i'm everywhere. and nowhere.

today began as and was almost entirely a good day. any other day i'd probably start out by saying, "happy tuesday!" today however, it just doesn't seem appropriate... i received some really sad news just before leaving work. my great aunt passed early this morning. she lost her fight against lung cancer. it was inevitable, but still comes as a shock to me. now, i may not have been super close to her in my adult life, but my childhood memories of her are all bright and shiny. i never got to see her before she passed. in fact, she was just diagnosed four weeks ago. it was never caught in time... and for some reason my mind wandered almost immediately to how i'll now have to remover her from our wedding guest list. such an insignificant thing to think about, but that's where my mind took me... it's hard to think that she's just gone. that i'll never ever get to see her again... i feel guilty for not being the emotional type. but i'm not. i think. i shrink inward. crawl inside of myself and think. that's just how i handle stress.

does that make me insensitive? weird? not all right in the head? 

this is the most "recent" picture i can find (Christmas 2010).
that's my great aunt on the right. you're resting soundly
and painlessly now. 

***
prior to this my day was pretty happy for a monday-tuesday (a tuesday that feels like a monday because there was a holiday the day before).

made overnight oats in a jar that i was pretty proud of. used my empty Bettern' Peanut Butter jar. added a scoop of vanilla protein powder, chia seeds, cacao powder and unsweetened vanilla almond milk for creaminess.

still made it to the gym after work. honestly, i think i needed it today more than anything. working out keeps my mind from turning too many gears at once.

today was chest and tri's.

warm up:

10 minutes on the stairmaster

chest

* barbell bench press:

   55lbs 8 reps

   60lbs 8 reps

   65lbs 6 reps (2 sets)

* incline bench press:

   50lbs 8 reps (2 sets)

   55lbs 6 reps (2 sets)

* cable crossovers:

   20lbs 8 reps

   25lbs 8 reps (3 sets)

triceps

* close grip bench press:

   50lbs 8 reps

   55lbs 8 reps (2 sets)

* lying tri extension:

   25lbs 8 reps (3 sets)

* dips (assisted):

   8 reps (displacing 58lbs)

   8 reps (displacing 52lbs)

   8 reps (displacing 46lbs)

it's a pretty sorry looking flex and bad full-body pic, but that's all i got. growing muscle and although you can't tell, very veiny arms. i'm very vascular in generally, so all my veins like to pop out when i lift. new ASICS shorts i got with birthday money. totally can't tell in the pic, but they have a herringbone pattern and are supper lightweight with a 4-way stretch. i was excited when i first got them...

anyways, i don't have much else to say. sorry if this ended up being a blah post. part happy. part sad. the happy things seem sort of meaningless in the wake of the sad stuff. ughhh... i should get in bed.

here's to health. happiness. and love. i hope you are all wealthy in all three.

night.